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At VitalSmarts, we talk a lot about the importance of a safe environment for crucial conversations. But sometimes, safety’s not enough to make the crucial conversation a success. Even situations where mutual respect and mutual purpose abound, conversations can still fail because of an interesting phenomenon called The Halo Effect.
If we’re honest, we’ve all let someone down and we’ve all been let down. But when it happens at work, it becomes more than a disappointment — it becomes an issue of job performance. And the best way to solve the problem is to look at the causes — the big WHY behind a behaviour. We group these causes into what we call The Six Sources of Influence.
Our brains can only really handle one active task at a time, so when we attempt to multitask, these four specific areas suffer.
There are three types of people when it comes to productivity: Zen Masters, Wanderers, and Pig Pens. Think about your mode of operation to see where you fit and learn why you could be losing 40 hours a month.
Over a third of the workforce wastes more than five hours a week because of unaddressed issues and miscommunication between people in two different generations. This is a huge problem. To move forward, we need to bridge the generational gap. Learn the 3 tips now!
Mutuality isn’t all about the other person. It’s about you, too. For people who know the literal definition of mutual, this may not seem like great insight. But for me, it makes a big difference.
Usually when we think about finding mutual respect and mutual purpose for creating a healthy conversation, we focus solely on the other person and their goals, but this is too one-sided. The most important part of mutuality is missing. We need to care about ourselves and our own goals as well if we want a healthy relationship.
From Emily Hoffman: After 10 years at VitalSmarts, I discovered a secret: Crucial Conversations skills don’t always work. At least, they don’t always work the way we think they should. But they still work. These skills bring you to a solution, even if it’s not the solution you were originally hoping for. After struggling through marriage and divorce, I’ve learned just how powerful and positive these skills can be.
Many of us believe that if we work hard, we’ll achieve success, which leads to happiness. In reality, happiness can be the key to achieving and learning right now.
Sharing feedback is tough. But, the ability to share and receive all of it — especially the last 10 percent — transforms us into our most authentic selves.
There’s a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is a function of physiology. Listening is a function of the heart. If I don’t feel safe with you, I won’t listen to what you have to say.
The fact is, if we want people to listen to us, we have to make them feel safe.
We constantly face situations where a tough but positive conversation can change the entire course of a relationship — both in our organisations and our
The most important capacity we possess is our ability to influence behaviour change, but we humans aren’t naturally good at it. In fact, we’re terrible, which means our organisations, society, and personal lives all suffer. We need a better way to influence behaviour.
For our organisations to perform at their best, we need to learn from the best. World-class Olympians use the skill of giving and receiving feedback to master their craft. We need to do the same for top organisational performance.
Sometimes when observing what’s happening around us, we make the mistake of thinking taking action is optional. It’s not. If we choose not to act or speak up, we’re an accomplice in the result.
When in a stressful situation, like a crucial conversation, our body responds by releasing adrenaline. This shuts off the logical part of our brain and activates our more primitive nature. This is really helpful when dealing with a vicious predator, but when handling a delicate issue with our boss or spouse, the results are almost never positive. Learn how to overcome our nature in tough conversations with these skills:
Learn the skills to hold tough conversations successfully.
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